Her story
by TrippyHippieGirl
Summary: Matilda is 12 when she gets attacked, How will she deal with it?
1. Chapter 1

*Matilda is 12 when something happens to her that causes her to run away

Matilda: I had been coming home from a friends house at 2am I had snuck out of the house to go smoke some cigarettes with my friend, if you had asked me a year ago I wouldnt of thought I would have smoked but for some reason I had tried it when I was 11. The cigarettes had become an on and off thing mostly off but I had also gotten caught the first time and my mom miss honey was upset with me. A mid august summer night it was in the 70's outside I had been getting threats eariler that year from a guy saying he was going to rape me things got somewhat scary for me he was removed from all of my classes due to the threats I had managed to keep it from my mom though. I had thought he had backed off because I hadn't heard from him in a while but that morning around 2:30 in the morning I was walking past a park when all of a sudden I see him!.

He pulls me down on the ground and I can't seem to fight him off could it be the cigarettes? I lie there trying to scream but he covers my mouth taking off my shorts and my underwear. I was raped at least it was less than 30 minutes I suppose but I was scared out of m mind I got up after he left in pain putting back on my clothes walking the rest of the way home. My legs hurt my thighs were bruised a little I cried most of the way trying to be quiet I was afraid of what would happen if my mom find out what had happened. I walked up the front steps quietly opening the front door I closed it locking it behind myself tip-toing up stairs to my bed I guess she was asleep I reached my room shutting my bedroom door quietly.

I crawled into bed trying to adjust to the pain was this my fault? I shouldn't have snuck out of the house smoking half a pack of cigarettes was not worth being forced into that , I was hungry but I didn't want to eat. After a while of lying in bed crying I pulled my throw over my bruised body and closed my eyes trying to go to sleep my thoughts faded but when I woke up I had been having nightmares most of the time I was asleep. It was 10am I had slept in I walked to the bathroom wobbling slightly from the pain I sat down on the toilet clenching my fist I flushed it washing my hands. Splashing cold water on my face I looked at myself in the mirror I looked pale dark circles under my eyes I ran a hairbrush through my hair so it didn't look so messy then I went back to my room to change my clothes.

I put on a loose short sleeve shirt that was a bit shorter than mid thigh I changed my bra and my underpants but this time I didn't put shorts on under my shirt left a lot of my shoulders exposed and my bra but after what happened last night I don't care about how much my clothes cover. Right now part of me feels like I should walk out of my room like this exposed and walk downstairs not to eat breakfast but to make a statement that I'm struggling mentally, I don't put on any makeup I leave my face the way it is maybe she won't notice the bruises. I walked downstairs slowly shaking slightly trying to hide the fact that I was crying then I walk towards my mom quietly I sit down on the couch shes doing paperwork tears fall off my face. My smallish limp body trembling slightly sat their in silence not moving after half a minute she looks up seeming rather startled by me a tear slipped off my face.

"You startled me matilda, do you want breakfast?" she looks at me for the first time this morning I see a sort of slightly shocked concerned look form on her face "No, thank you but I'm not hungry" I say with a sort of dazed numb scared depressed expression on my face. A wave of dizziness hits me I start to fall off the couch she catches me "Are you okay?" she stares at my body realizing how bruised up I am "What happened to you?" she says looking into my eyes. "I'm afraid that if I tell you what happened you'll beat me" I whisper looking away "Matilda no matter what happened I'm not going to hurt you" she says, In a sense it might of been easier to explain this to Zinnia she probably wouldn't of cared would of just beat me.

You were adopted Matilda be grateful you have someone now a mother that really loves you that cares because your family didnt care much about you at all if they did thats why Jenny is your family now don't take that back and wish she wasn't not for one second. I love her but what if this guy comes after me again I to be a burden to her but at the same time I'm only 12 I felt distraught apparently to the point where I had used my powers without even being aware of it because theirs a sharp blade hovering on my wrist. "Matilda don't do that please" she takes it tossing it away from me pulling me into her arms I cry "I'm sorry I don't want to be a burden" I say. "I adopted you its my job to take care of you, sweetie its obvious someone hurt you" She says I don't know quite why I can't seem to bring myself to tell her what happened I mean sure she'd be ticked I snuck out but she'd be more concerned with the rape.

Theres a lot on my mind I'm not sure if I should tell her what happened yet in a sense dealing with being physically abused might be less difficult for me to handle than my mom actually caring about me and loving me but she's not the kind of person to hurt me. I flash back to my dad abusing me, a lot of the things he did we're horrible I hadn't told my mom about some of it I hadn't told anyone partially because he had threatened me. Shuttering at the thought of it I let go of her crying she tries to pull back into a hug but I run away from her fast as I can, the fear of being beat finding its way back into my head I run back up to my room. "I really do love you remember that mom" I say crying I shut the door locking it before she can get inside "don't shut me out, Please open the door, Matilda!" She says trying to open the door.

I open the door with my powers lying in bed I have a blade this time hovering fairly high up on my thigh I take it in my hand JM the letters cut into my skin above it I cut the word 'help' she tries to pry the blade out of my hand then she stands still staring at my bruised thighs. "Oh Matilda" She whispers letting out a small gasp I set the blade down seeing how upset she already is, I didn't mean to upset her at all thats part of why I'm reluctant to tell her. She sits down next to me and puts her hand in mine "You can tell me anything, Sweetie you don't have to worry about being alone again I know what your going through right now is difficult, I can help you more if you tell me what happened" she says.

"Even if I was mentally prepared to tell you the person that did this to me would be more likely to hurt you if you know what he did than if you don't, I'm trying to protect you in a way honestly" I tell her "I'm worried about you this is serious someone hurt you!" She says. "I know, It'd be pretty hard to forget with these bruises and pain unless I had amnesia" I say hm I think deep for a second before my mom snaps me out of it. "Don't even think about it Matilda Honey!" She says upset "It's not like I was going to do it" I say coolly "Why did you cut that into yourself?" She says looking down at me I cover it up. "Sometimes people cut to relieve stress I decided to try it and see if it worked, not such a great coping mechanism" I say to her "Let me get a first aid kit and take care of it" She says "No I can take care of it" I say "That wasn't a question" She raises her voice slightly.


	2. Chapter 2

Matilda: I wasn't about to tell her what happened after a few minutes she left my room because I just wasn't being responsive So I packed a knapsack with a spare set of clothing and toothpaste/toothbrush and deodorant with a compact hairbrush about 30$ worth of savings and put on a pair of shorts and socks/sneakers. Then I climbed out my bedroom window I made my decision I'm going to find Zinnia I decided my first stop would be to the non local public library if I used the local one. I'd be more likely to get busted I took a bus to the next town over and went to the library I logged onto one of the computers I typed in Google "Zinnia Wormwood New Jersey USA". A lot of stuff about the stolen car parts popped up but I was looking for an address even if it was for a federal prison at the bottom of the page I saw an address listed in new york city evidently now she owned a house there I printed out the address and got on a bus to the nearest train station.

Why the hell I'm really doing this I'm not exactly sure I just figure it'd be easier to explain to Zinnia than my mom but what if Zinnia doesn't even acknowledge me? she might just ignore me like I never even existed well I guess if that happens oh well. I feel like I need to at least try I buy a ticket to penn station and get on the train, Jenny's probably already freaked out that I left but truthfully I don't know if I want to go back I know I don't want to stay long with Zinnia though she wasn't that nice to me. The guy Stan that did this to me is really on the slow side but hes also dangerous if I tell my mom what happened she'll make me press charges and then hell probably come after me and her which I don't want. I sit next to the window staring out out it my legs bent up against my short 5ft body tears slid down my face, If my mom knew would she blame me for sneaking out and hurt me? I should of never snuck out with all of this intelligence you'd think I wouldn't.

Shes probably mad at me for running away she adopted me took me in and made me her own family and this is how I repay her? maybe I'm not such a good daughter no I shouldn't be putting myself down its not my fault I got raped this isn't my fault I'm afraid my mom isn't going to want me anymore what Jenny doesn't?. How am I even going to explain this to Zinnia do I just knock on her do and surprise her with it right away or should I say I just wanted to see her what if shes not even home or its an old address and she doesn't live there anymore I should of thought this through more clearly. I'm probably going to have to take the subway but I should be able to figure out where I need to go easily enough I've come this far I'm not going to turn around and go home now. Images blur by with the time as I look out the window minutes passing by eventually I reach penn station I pay my subway fare and look at the map figuring out where i need to go after a few subway transfers I walk about 10 minutes reaching the address on the paper its a smallish white 2 story house on the corner of an alley.

I slowly walk up to the door knocking on it a few seconds later I see the knob move then I see her open the door "What do you want?" She says staring at me with a cold look on her face I fight the urge to break down in hysterics "I was raped earlier this morning by a psychotic asshole, Could you give me a cigarette?" She blows smoke at me. "I'll do you one better" She says smiling and walks away leaving the door open is she going to hurt me oh no what if shes getting harry to beat me and tell me to never talk to them again because they don't care about me I feel scared. A few seconds later she returns with a partial pack of cigarettes and what looks like orange juice She hands me a cigarette and lights it "Thanks I suppose" I say unsure of what to say in a sense if she really loved me anywhere as much as my mom she wouldn't of given me that cigarette because they're not good for anyones health. Now she hands me the glass bottle "Join the club, Here drink this it's orangina and Vodka, don't worry Harry's not around today" I've never drank alcohol before but I don't really care right now I open up the bottle and take a big gulp washing it down with a puff of tobacco.

Why did she say join the club? I guess in her own way shes trying to be nice after I've drunken about a 5th of the bottle I slump against the side of the house at the beginning of the alley she takes the bottle and the cap from me and starts to drink herself "Guys sometimes there such jerks" I say slurring my speech slightly "Yeah go that right glad I'm not one" Zinnia says. "I wish of snuck out at 1am if I had stayed home and not been out smoking cigarettes with my friend none of this would of happened" I say upset "Hey for what its worth I'm sorry that happened to you kid" she says "It's 2 weeks before my birthday I've lost my virginity at 12 years old" I say. "Why don't you come inside and sit down your pretty drunk" I finish up my cigarette and walk inside she leads me over her couch I sit down my vision is slightly blurry and my balance is off "I think I drank to much" I slur out "If you need to puke the bathrooms down the hall on the right" she states. "Hows Mikey been?" I ask "Don't know hes not home much" She says "Oh" I slur out my thoughts are a bit jumbled "Harry got busted in guam a few years we got deported he spent a bit in prison but hes out, now he owns a warehouse" She says "Guess hes still the same crooked man" I say "Yeah why do you think I drink" She says.

"This is the first time I ever drank before I run away and end up drunk with you gee I never thought this would happen" I slur out "Why'd you come here anyways?" She asks "I thought It'd be easier to explain what happened to you because you don't care as much about me as my mom does Jenny loves me more than anything I didn't want to cause her pain" I say. "She's your mom now though I gave birth to you but I was never much of a mother to you she gave I you what I couldn't" she says I know shes right "I don't know if I'm ever going to go home though as much as I love her I don't want her to get hurt protecting me I might just disappear tomorrow without a trace" I say unsure of what to do. "Just don't go off to Guam or Mexico pretty dangerous stuff kid" She says "I'll keep that in mind" I slur out "You want to watch tv or something?" She asks "Yeah sure why not" I lie down on the couch she puts on the simpsons I'm to drunk to really care I stare at the tv time seems to blur many episodes go by it must be a marathon or something.

*Switches briefly to Jenny's Pov: I had left Matilda alone in her room when I went back to check on her 10 minutes later she was gone I tried no to panic maybe she had just gone to a friends house but this wasn't like her to just disappear like that. I called all of her friends she wasn't there I even drove around town looking for her but no she wasn't anywhere I went home discouraged didn't bother calling the police because you have to wait 24 hours to file a report I sat around the house pondering the things that could of happened to her what if she had been kidnapped there wasn't any evidence of that no I shouldn't let my mind think that far. About 6 hours later I the phone rings "Matilda?" I ask "No It's Zinnia, Shes here though I live at _ ave _ ave in Manhattan you have till 5am tomorrow to pick her up after that I have to turn her loose I can't have her around Harry" She says sounding kind of drunk "I'll be there as soon as I can" I hang up the phone.

Why on earth had Matilda gone to Zinnia of all people I really just don't understand she seemed so happy with me well aside from the smoking was what happened to her that bad that she felt she needed to run way? she should know I'll always protect her shes my child. I got in my car and drove off after about an hour and a half reaching the place she was I knocked on the door "Shes okay shes inside" Zinnia said opening the door "Thank you" I say not really sure what else to say she lets me inside. "She showed up out of the blue I wasn't about to turn her out on the street, She said she came here because she though it would be easier to explain what happened to someone who didn't care as much, She said she didn't want to hurt you" Zinnia says. "Did she say what happened?" I ask"Yeah it's pretty bad, you better wait till you get home with her before she tells you" She says .

*Switches back to Matilda's Pov

"You called my mom? wait thats obvious yeah I have to go home now sorry for the inconvenience Zinnia I just didn't know what to do"I say getting up partially sobered up hopefully enough Jenny won't notice. "Hey kid if you want to talk or anything heres my email address I know I wasn't a good parent but I still care about you Good Luck" "Thanks Zinnia" I say lucky for me my mom doesn't pick up that I'm intoxicated I try to act sober "Come on Matilda we have a long car ride home" I walk out the door getting into her car. "I'm sorry" I say those are the only words spoken the whole car ride home some of it I passed out when we get home I set my sack down by the inside of the front door "Please don't ever scare me like that again" She says holding me at arms length "I'm really sorry mom" I say upset "You need to tell me what happened to you Matilda" She says "You should sit down" I say. We sit down in the living room next to each-other "Whatever happened it's not going to change the fact that I love you" She says "I was raped this morning I snuck out of the house to go smoke cigarettes with a friend and came back at 3 in the morning a wreck you tried to warn me smoking does nothing but harm well you were right if I hadn't of been out smoking I would't of gotten raped" I say tears falling off my face.

"Sweetie" She pulls me into her arms "I'm so sorry that happened to you" She says "Thats what I get for sneaking out at 1am" I whisper "It's not your fault, you shouldn't of snuck out or been smoking cigarettes but that doesn't make what happened to you okay" she says "Whats my punishment how many days am I going to get locked in my room?" I ask. She looks at me shocked and upset, Harry used to lock me in my room when I did something bad or disobeyed him not all the time but he did sometimes for days for some reason I had expected she was going to do the same thing for a minute. "I would never do that to you, I love you" she says "I love you too mom" I say "Did you shower since it happened?" she asks "No, I didn't" I respond "I'm going to take you to the er, they can collect evidence and put the person that did this to you away" She says "You can't make me go" I almost yell.


End file.
